1. Bade dhoom dhaam se shaadi karenge
You would be kidding if you say you haven’t heard this one . Its afterall a norm that the family’s wedding has to be better than all the weddings that they have attended till date !
2. Hume to kisi ne poocha hi nahi
You and your family broke your back preparing for the wedding and ensuring that all guests were happy and satisfied but you’ll always see some irritating, swollen faces of close uncles and aunties who felt that they didn’t get enough mehmannawazi.
3. Ticket katao, khana khao, gayab ho jao
Your mom’s mother’s cousin sister’s son-in-law, and those type of long distance relationships form a majority of your wedding guests! Most obviously, their only aim is to handover their envelope, have food and leave, sometimes without even meeting the couple!
4. Khana kab khulega
As someone said, no matter how much you spend on the décor, Indian weddings are all about food! So all the guests, close or not, are eyeing the closed buffet from the corner of their eyes eagerly awaiting it to open !
5. Dulhan kab aaegi
The bride’s never ending make-up most often delays her entry to the wedding. When she finally steps into the venue, generally a large section of the guests have already left!
6. Videoguy getting into people’s plates
Noone knows why the video guy loves to get into people’s plates. The peeping video camera can get even the most extrovert uncle’s conscious to open their mouth to eat golgappas. Don’t forget seeing the video in rewind mode and watching people keep golgappas on their plates from their mouths!
7. Jewellery Gazing
Matching or not, weddings are forums for women to display their locker wealth! Of course this is followed by analysing minute details that noone else can see in other women’s jewellery. Mind you, don’t expect verbal appreciation, just understand that your adornment is looking great if you capture someone gazing at it from the corner of their eyes.
8. Coke guzzling & Starter watching
Nobody can wait to get their hands on the starters keeping a close watch on the waiters all the time . The children on the other hand take advantage of their busy parents guzzling in as much coke glasses as possible.
9. Ladki ko kya diya hai
This irritating and unavoidable question including its answer always makes its way across all aunties like Chinese whispers. You would be surprised to know how much details others know about your trousseau than you yourself!
10. Baraat ka dance
The baarat is the one place where you can see all sorts of crazy dance movements by people dressed in their best in front of the groom and his horse. The crazier the dance the more enthusiastic is the baraat!
11. The couple greeting people they didn’t know existed
The wedding is full of all far and close relatives, acquaintances and friends of the entire family . While the known faces are few, there are many unknown faces whom one has to greet in a wedding. So much so that the jaw hurts after a point from smiling.
12. Match-fixing on the wedding night
This one’s another funny one where some of the guests are out hunting for their prospective daughter in laws . Why not , everyone’s dressed in their best and most people are from the same community ! No wonder some unaware girls are told later ‘tumhare liye rishta aaya hai!’